It's never easy to hear from someone you love that they can't remember the last time they enjoyed themselves while doing something. It's hard to ignore the sting of words that imply you aren't capable of making that person happy.
If I've seemed out of sorts this winter, it's because I have been. I've struggled with depression that's been compounded by a seemingly endless barrage of trouble to stress me out. I'll bet if I consulted with a mental health professional, they'd consider adding anxiety to the diagnosis.
The extended winter hasn't helped, nor has the feeling of being trapped by a city that doesn't offer much to occupy someone like me, who craves the variety and anonymity that larger cities provide. We go to the same pubs in the same parts of town. We shop at the same stores in the same parts of town. We do this because all of the other parts of town are quiet neighbourhoods and strip malls. Ottawa's great for tourists if you like museums and tours, but I was talking to a colleague at work whose cousins came to visit Ottawa for a week from England, and as she discovered, if you don't drink, you don't enjoy the outdoor pursuits and you aren't into museums and such, Ottawa really doesn't offer you anything.
So this winter has been particularly brutal around our house. I'd like to apologize if I haven't been doing my job and keeping up with you as a friend. I'm working on it.
Some happier times ahead...
...Wish you were here.
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