November 4/12

I just got off the phone with my parents, and it seems that my uncle's health has taken a drastic turn for the worse. 

He was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease well over a year ago, but in the last year it's become evident that he also suffers from dementia as well.  It a terrible time because his wife was diagnosed with advanced stage cancer this spring as well.  He's an uncle by marriage, through my mother's only sibling, her sister Bev.  My aunt Bev died of lung cancer in the early 1990's, but my uncle has been a rock of support for my mother despite my aunt no longer being with us.  My uncle and aunt had no kids, and his wife didn't have children from her marriage either, so my mother is one of the few people left who can provide some support to my uncle and his wife.

Uncle Stan has always been wonderful to me and my siblings.  When I was a little girl, he would let me play with these little commemorative phones that he received as gifts when he retired from BCTel.  At the time, my aunt and uncle had an oceanfront house tucked away in a little cove on Salt Spring Island, and when the tide was out, he'd take me down to the shore and we'd hunt for sea shells and oysters (well, not so much me...I hated oysters).  He stood out from all of my other uncles as the only one I had on my mother's side, and the only one who didn't live near us, so it was always a treat seeing him.

I haven't seen uncle Stan since 1996, but mum has always stayed in touch and kept me updated on his life, so it was very sad to hear about the Parkinson's diagnosis, and even worse when we had the first conversation about the dementia.  He was moved to a care facility shortly after his wife's cancer diagnosis, as she was going to have to go to Victoria for radiation and chemotherapy treatments, leaving him alone on Salt Spring.  Mum went over to help and she was struck by how different he was from the lively, healthy, sweetheart of a man she'd known most of her life.  He's still a sweetheart, but he'd lost a lot of weight, and whether he had his wits about him depended so much on how quickly something would trigger the present for him.  Since entering the care home, he's gone down hill far too fast.  The Parkinson's has taken a terrible toll on him physically, while the dementia has all but wiped out his memory.

Etienne and I are scheduled to fly out to Vancouver this month for a visit home and a concert; based on similar experiences I've had with others whose health declines so precipitously, I have to be prepared for the possibility of extending my trip to include a funeral.

Family...

...Wish you were here.